Tonight

Hello. Yes, I suck at this! I am torn between writing about what is going on in my life, a lot of which is not too fun or good, or making some sort of music/fashion blog. I work in the music biz a little and am a musician and love fashion, but I think I suck at fashion and need to practice playing my instruments so I kinda suck at that too. I also am pretty much unemployed (well, employed incredibly part time, not enough to live on at all) so I have been stressed and a bit depressed for a long time. I hope this recession gets better, so I can get hired. I was thinking tonight, that I am pretty good at what I am doing now, and I wish I could be noticed by the right people. I am not sure I want to get into the details, but I am kind of "the almost" girl. I almost get the job. I almost am good enough for this. I almost am thin. I just seem to not quite succeed at things. I used to succeed a bit, but nowadays....I can't get above water, so to speak. Its incredibly frustrating because I went back to get my college degree, and I have never had this much bad luck with career/employment in my life! I thought things would get better with more experience and a degree. I am hoping its the state of our economy. I think a big dark cloud is following me. Maybe someone put a curse on me and I didn't know it? How do you get curses taken off?
Its really hard to keep a positive attitude when you keep getting rejected and nothing good happens. Its pretty much been 4 years. This bout of unemployment has been 11 months. I am behind on bills and cannot move forward with any of my dreams or needs. Its heartbreaking.

Anyway, so maybe this blog will just be thoughts, feelings, complaints, expressions. I don't know enough about fashion to do that type of blog, and frankly, I don't have it in me right now to write about music. Maybe if I get a job and become passionate about life again, I can make a fun blog.

Ok, well, that's enough for tonight. At least I have my tv shows and movies-Twilight, Vampire Diaries, True Blood, The Tudors, Merlin, etc. Trying to keep my mind occupied so as not to just sleep and eat all day and get fat and lose all muscle tone.

Goodnight All.